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Sexual abuse leaves deep marks on your body, mind, and soul and affects every aspect of your life. Break the silence today and take the first step toward recovery, so you can live a happy life in freedom, without fear.
Take the first step on the path to recovery. Download the flyer free of charge for more information.
I know how much courage it takes to take this first step.
My name is Lisa Enik Indrayani. I was given the first name Lisa when I was adopted in the Netherlands. Enik is my Indonesian birth name, and Indrayani is my Indonesian surname. For a long time, I used only my Dutch first name and the surname of my adoptive father. I consciously chose to legally change my name and reclaim my birth surname, Indrayani. This was an important step in reconnecting with my identity and my origins.
Enik is pronounced as “Eh-neek,” although many people say “En-ik.” I like that too, because in my work with clients that very movement often emerges: the dynamic between Lisa and En-ik between me as a guide and the other person in their own process.
I work as a Trauma Sexologist. It is a privilege to accompany you, even if only for a time, on your journey toward recovery.
My personal path has led me to my life’s mission: supporting adults in their recovery from sexual abuse, sexual violence, or incest experienced during childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood.
What makes my guidance distinctive is that I bring together knowledge, experience, inner wisdom, and genuine involvement.
I have studied the theory, undergone the therapy myself, and experienced the field of damage firsthand. This makes my guidance both professional and deeply human. Through my lived experience and professional expertise, I am able not only to understand what has happened to you, but also to make it tangible and recognisable within the sessions. This creates the safety you need to take steps in your recovery process at a pace and in a way that truly suits you.
I am no stranger to personal struggles. I have faced and worked through my adoption trauma and sexual abuse trauma. Because of this, I know how lonely, confusing, and heavy this path can be. But I also know that recovery is possible.
I believe that my own growth and dedication are essential in order to guide others. From that foundation, I fully commit myself to helping the powerful person within you to blossom someone who not only recognises and protects their boundaries, but also expresses them, feels safe in their own body, and can shine with self-love and self-worth. Living in freedom instead of surviving in fear.
In my practice, I initially focused on women, but over time more and more men and adoptees have found their way to me. I increasingly meet people in whom adoption trauma and sexual trauma are intertwined a complex and often invisible combination. A complex and often invisible combination that leaves deep traces. It is a painful, sometimes toxic cocktail of abandonment anxiety, shame, and a fundamental lack of existential safety. This makes it all the more important that there is a place where they, too, can feel seen, understood, and supported in their unique recovery process.
Perhaps you have already tried many things, or you feel that this is not for you. Precisely then, it can be valuable to explore this path, because my approach goes beyond talking alone. I work with systemic chair constellations from Trauma Sexology, developed by Peter John Schouten. In this work, you do not only talk you also experience, feel, and physically sense what is happening within your inner structure. By mapping the damage, we create new movement that makes recovery possible.
Precisely because I have experienced firsthand how profound and disruptive this specific trauma can be, I know how important it is to rediscover lightness and balance in life. Today, I have regained more and more of that balance, and this gives me the conviction that recovery truly is possible.
Alongside my work, I find it essential to nourish myself through small things: making music, reading, and enjoying good food together with loved ones.
Recovery is not easy, but it is certainly not impossible. There is no quick fix: recovery is a slow and steady process in which every step counts. Trauma often becomes deeply embedded in your inner system over many years, and sometimes through repeated experiences, which means change cannot happen overnight. Wherever you begin today is exactly the right place in your own recovery process. Everything you have done so far has contributed to where you are now. Trust that.
For one person, this process may take half a year; for another, it may take several years. It unfolds step by step, and the time between sessions is especially valuable, this is where integration happens and where what we have touched is given the space to settle. Even a pause does not have to mean stagnation; it can in fact act as a catalyst for new movement
We will work together to untangle the knot of what feels confusing, heavy, or stuck. I cannot do the work for you, but I can guide and support you in finding the right direction. Together, we explore the possibilities, learn from the challenges, and celebrate progress.
I stand beside you as an ally, as a temporary guide on your path toward recovery.
“We don’t “get over” or “move on” from trauma. We are forced to make space for it. We carry it. We learn to live with it. And we can thrive inspite of it.”
Trauma sexology focuses on the paradoxical combination of a shocking experience that is connected to sexuality. It not only looks at the consequences, but also at the damage that occurred during sexual abuse or sexual violence and how this damage can be repaired.
This damage is also referred to as the psychological spinal cord injury. It means that your inner structure becomes divided: a tear forms, creating a barrier between your mind and your body. This can be deeply paralysing and disempowering, and it has a profound impact on your entire being. You live with a secret, the throat is blocked.
The abuse template that develops functions as a blueprint for the rest of your life and becomes a source of feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
Recovery, insight, and living in freedom
Recovery after sexual abuse requires more than talking alone. Sexual trauma is not only stored in memories, but also in the body, the nervous system, and deeply ingrained survival patterns. That is why I work in a body-oriented and experiential way, with attention to what shows itself in the moment. in words, emotions, and physical sensations.
In my guidance, I combine constellations from Trauma Sexology and psychodrama (founder: PJ Schouten) with systemic work, Vitalogy, and Breathwork. These approaches help to make visible what often operates unconsciously, such as inner division, frozen responses, loyalties, shame, guilt, and the absence of safe boundaries. We also explore where false connections have formed connections that arise from a disrupted experience of closeness and safety, and that deeply influence how you think, feel, and shape your (sexual) behaviour.
My way of working is attuned, careful, and respectful while at the same time direct. I do not avoid what presents itself, but call things by their name. By not steering away from what feels most uncomfortable, and instead making it clear and tangible, space is created. What often feels heavy, confusing, or charged becomes manageable and understandable, without being overwhelming.
By not only understanding this, but also experiencing it in the body, space is created to let go of old patterns and false connections, and to choose again what truly belongs to you.
This is how movement and integration arise on a deeper level.
We work step by step, at your pace and within your capacity. The goal is not to force anything, but to restore safety, clarity, and your sense of agency. In this way, the movement from surviving to living emerges from constant alertness to greater calm, connection, and freedom.
My offer focuses on recovery after sexual abuse as well as on personal growth toward a happy life without fear. Whether you choose a single session, an individual guidance programme, or a duo session, integration into daily life is always central. What is touched in the sessions is meant to continue working through how you feel, make choices, set boundaries, and live.
What happens during sexual abuse?
The first time it happens, there is a moment in which different experiences are recorded. The shocking event causes you to lose control of your own body and enter a numb state. You become the answer to the perpetrator’s sexual needs. Your ‘no’ is turned into a ‘yes’ so that the act can take place. As a child, you are far from ready for adult sexuality. It does not yet fit into your world view. The forced adjustment behaviour that is required disrupts, freezes or accelerates your own sexuality. You urgently needed help that was probably not available. The helplessness makes you dependent and brings with it enormous loneliness. The experiences of this very first moment merge into the lost second. A second that seems to stand still in time and is not lived, surrounded by secrecy and feelings of guilt and shame. All the times after this very first moment are repetitions.
Perhaps you recognise yourself in the following:
you are someone with ambition, responsibilities, and perseverance. To the outside world, everything seems to be going well. You may have a partner, a family, and a job in which you give a great deal. But inside, it feels different. You carry something that is invisible to the outside world experiences of sexual abuse or sexual violence that have left deep traces. Perhaps you have hardly spoken about it, or never at all, out of shame, fear, or because you believed it was long “behind you.
If you have an adoption background and are (or have been) dealing with sexual trauma, this brings a double complexity. In that case as well, I offer you a place where you can come with everything that lives within you.
For many people, adoption brings specific struggles and challenges that can deeply affect life. It begins with an early rupture the loss of the first connection to family and birthplace, sometimes even before there are words or conscious memories. Even when someone is later lovingly received, this absence can remain unconsciously present in the body, the nervous system, and in how a person relates to themselves and to others.
Questions such as “Where do I come from?”, “Who am I?”, and “Where do I belong?” can echo throughout a lifetime. Not always in the foreground, but often present beneath the surface in feelings of insecurity, a deep sense of absence, difficulty with closeness, or a strong tendency to adapt. Many adoptees learn early on to adjust to their surroundings, driven by a desire to belong and to maintain connection.
Every human being has a natural, primary need to feel seen, heard, and loved. When this basic need is not sufficiently met, for example, because a father and/or mother was emotionally or physically unavailable, or not fully available an inner lack is created. With adoption, this is more often the case, simply because the original family system has fallen away and a void can arise where safety, shelter, and unconditional belonging should have been.
This emptiness does not make people weak, but it does make them more vulnerable—more vulnerable to seeking validation, attention, or closeness outside of themselves.
In my practice, I therefore see sexual trauma as a common outcome among people with an adoption background. Not because adoption causes it, but because an opening has already formed within the system. A perpetrator of sexual abuse often recognises such an unmet need with uncanny accuracy and steps straight into that gap.
This dynamic is not unique to adoption; it can also occur in other family situations. However, with adoption this pattern appears more often, precisely because the lack is so early and so fundamental.
I am adopted myself and know from the inside how profound and impactful these struggles can be. This lived experience forms an important foundation in my work. In addition, I completed a training programme on Adoption & Separation through the Stichting de Adoptie Cirkel, and I am also affiliated with them as a coach.
I am not a formal adoption coach, but I work from a trauma-sexological and body-oriented perspective, with specific attention to the interplay between experiences related to adoption and sexual trauma.
In my practice, I regularly meet people in whom these two experiences are intertwined. This combination is complex and often invisible, yet it has a profound impact on identity, self-image, boundaries, attachment, and (sexual) intimacy.
My guidance is intended for adoptees who notice that experiences related to adoption, in combination with sexual abuse, continue to influence their lives.
In a safe online setting, you share your story. What do you need to take a step forward?
If you are looking for an individual session without a long-term trajectory, this session offers space for depth, insight, and guidance around your help request, within a clear and defined setting. What is touched in the session is aimed at processing and integration into daily life.
If you would like to pause together with a partner, family member, friend, or colleague to look at what is going on, this duo guidance session offers space for insight, attunement, and movement. In this session, we work with attention to each person’s position and experience, allowing greater understanding, clarity, and connection to emerge between you.
This session offers space for:
This programme includes:
If you are seeking depth, continuity, and attuned guidance in your recovery process, this programme offers that support. Integration into daily life is an important part of every session and every trajectory. Within the Plus programme, this process is supported by additional guidance between sessions, which can help what is touched to settle more fully, deepen further, or continue working on multiple levels in everyday life, attuned to your pace and capacity.
This programme includes:
Available as a speaker at your event or in a podcast, where I offer an introductory overview of trauma sexology in combination with my personal experiences of sexual abuse.
If you are unexpectedly unable to attend, the appointment can be cancelled free of charge up to 24 hours in advance. If you do not show up for the appointment without notice, the agreed time will be charged. This applies to 1-to-1 guidance, online coaching sessions, and breathwork sessions.
At Lisa Enik Coaching, sessions are not reimbursed through health insurance. In some cases, it may be possible to receive partial reimbursement through your employer, for example via a career development budget or an Individual Choice Budget.
It gave me many new insights into how behavior is shaped by sexual trauma, explained in a safe, clear, and accessible way. Highly recommended if you are dealing with the impact of sexual trauma in your relationship.
Through Trauma Sexology, I found my way to Lisa. With her, many puzzle pieces fell into place. She combines knowledge with humor and honesty, without judgment, which makes me feel safe enough to go deep. I am rediscovering more and more parts of myself, and I often think that everyone should have a Lisa in their life.
Lisa is not only highly trained, but also brings lived experience, which makes it feel safe to share everything. Her calm energy and dedicated attention create an environment for deep and meaningful connection.
Lisa quickly feels familiar and safe. Her honest observations are direct and to the point, without detours. She combines a loving energy with sharp insights.
Lisa’s understanding attitude gave me the safety to speak. Without judgment, she offered a listening ear, which made me feel less alone. Her support helped me share my experiences.
Lisa is there for me in a way no one has ever been before. With understanding, truly listening, reflection, and a deep passion to help me. Her warm voice takes me to places where I can heal from my sexual abuse.
Having someone who is there for you, just for you. Someone who sees you, hears you, and allows you to be who you are. That is the truly valuable gift. I wish a Lisa for everyone who needs one.
Lisa was able to help me immensely with a hidden childhood trauma through a chair setup. Her calm presence and full attention gave me the space to turn inward and fully surrender to this new experience. Through this, I was given tools to release feelings of guilt and let go of emotional burden.
Lisa gave words to how I had felt for many years. I truly felt seen.
I was finally able to speak about my darkest and deepest secrets. That brought me relief. Thanks in part to Lisa’s open and nonjudgmental attitude, I felt safe enough to face my trauma.
Lisa gave me new insights and practical exercises during the guidance. I now understand my own boundaries better, and saying no is an option again. I stand up for myself.
The chaos in my head has become so much less, and I feel space and calm in my body. Chairs will never be the same again. Lisa helped me untangle my inner knot.
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